Elmo: Wise Old Sage of Mississippi

I was contacted recently by Elmo, perhaps the wisest man in Mississippi, who pointed out the following regarding my recent farewell post:

(a) your pulse was probably 25 in Florida, too
(b) any post office door could have attacked you
(c) that haircut could have happened anywhere (i'm just jealous)
(d) the computer did not notice the state line in deciding to crash,
probably
(e) the house you elect to rent was not, shall we say, in a particularly
hy-tone neighborhood
(f) the state of Mississippi loves you dearly, i have on good authority