Monday, December 08, 2008

Sula: "I'm running for office in 2012"

Saturday afternoon, I flew up to Michigan to give a reading as part of a Fur Ball for the Humane Society in Ann Arbor. But, actually, it was far more interesting than that. The whole event was the culmination of an art course at the university. Titled "Where the Wild Things Aren't" the course requires students to get to explore the role animals play in our lives. They have to spend time at the shelter, and they read my book, and they create art that is eventually sold at The Fur Ball. (I bought two pieces, along with a gift for my sister).

First, let me get this out of the way: It is very cold up there. In fact, it was snowing. Also, because I'm in the midst of teaching myself, I could only make it an overnight trip, which became an even more abbreviated trip due to my concerns about leaving my house unattended for any period of time (thanks to the continued indifference of the NOPD--but that's another story.)

The class is taught by Holly Hughes, and for a while I wondered at the coincidence of a Holly Hughes teaching in Michigan. There had been one in New York--and I say had because New York seems to exist entirely in the past tense for me. But of course it was the same Holly Hughes, and she was bursting with energy and enthusiasm for the work of her students and the evening itself.

Afterwards, a group of us went to get some food, and somehow Sarah Palin's wardrobe inserted itself in the conversation and like Palin herself, it didn't know when to leave. At one point, someone said that the whole debate about the money spent on clothes was unfair, because they all wear expensive clothes (true) and Palin doesn't have that kind of money. I pointed out that she is worth over 1 million (like most politicians) and everyone agreed...that I was wrong about that. And then I wondered if I was wrong, and if I was wrong, how was it that I got such a crazy idea in my head. I have, in fact, been wrong about things before, so it was entirely possible. But I looked it up, and indeed, she is worth 1.2 million. Which doesn't mean she has cash for clothes, but that isn't really the point.

All of which leads me to this dramatic announcement: after a quiet but thorough internal study, Sula has announced her intention to run for office in 2012. And she'll be doing without any wardrobe. Her net worth is rumored to be about $8, but it is possible she has some assets buried in the yard. Campaign slogan: "Put a real pit bull in the White House". (T-shirts will be available in the new year; she's getting started early.)

There are some possible controversies: Who will she choose as her running mate? Will people feel she is riding on the coattails of Brando's campaign to be Obama's VP? Will she name Zephyr as Secretary of State? Will her historic campaign inspire pit bulls to riot? Is it true that she supports legislation that would reverse breed specific legislation and make it illegal to own a dog that doesn't have at least some pit bull in its DNA?

Only time will tell...

2 comments:

Big Sis said...

Hey, it was 27 degrees, up from 10 the day before!

And I'm not sure the nation is ready for a candidate with no wardrobe.

Anonymous said...

Ken,

I wish I had known. I was up in Ann Arbor that same weekend for a wedding.

TK