New Years in New Orleans...sponsored by Directv

I realized today that I need to cancel all my utilities in order to avoid being billed for service to my quarantined home. The phone company actually did credit my account for the lack of service in the past ten days, but only after I asked them.

Meanwhile, I contacted my TV service to cancel that and had a long exchange with them via an email with the subject line "HOMELESS."

They wrote back:
Dear Mr. Foster,
Thanks for writing. If you're going away, or won't be able to use your DIRECTV service for any period between 7 days and 270 days (9 months), you can suspend your service and avoid programming charges. If you would like us to suspend your service, here's what you need to do:

1. Write us back with the exact dates_- Please suspend my service on______________ and reactivate my service on ________________.

2. Make sure your account balance is $0 to avoid any late charges on the unpaid balance. (To pay your bill today by credit card, debit card or electronic check (EFT) payment, just sign in at and click on the "Pay Today" link.

I replied:
Please suspend my service at XXX Piety Street in New Orleans, effective 8/28/05 until the unknown date at which time the city will be occupied again. Thanks.

Their bewildering response:
As you requested, your DIRECTV service has been suspended until 12/31/2005. At that time, your DIRECTV programming and billing will restart automatically.

Do they know something the rest of us don't?


Anonymous said…
Hilarious. Even in really crappy times you still have your sense of humor


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